Thursday, February 12, 2009

snack review

have you ever been to another country and found your favorite dumb thing to eat, and after taking the first bite or drink and it's totally different. it's like, "finally mountain dew! heck, i'll buy two 2 litres and just go back to my room and drink it all. (glug glug glug) what the hey??? this is not mountain dew, it's like mountain CRAP! no, it's more like MOUNTAIN PEE!!" and you just can't imagine what happened to the flavors. well, that's what happened when i purchased one of my favorite snacks, cheetos. see, there is a vending machine in the 80's office torture room in the basement of our building, and when the feeling gets me, i have to go get a mini-bag. well, one day i went down there and ho! no cheetos available. and no cheetos the next week, and the next. the machine just ran out of snacks one by one. and even worse, there was a row of candy items that you couldn't buy. you put your money in and the red light would flash by the "choose another item" sign, the whole row was like that. you can imagine my frustration. so i wrote an angry post-it for who ever stocks the machine, though after a month of no cheetos, my post-it just mocked me everytime i went to check on the cheeto status. finally, it was so bad that i had to write an email to the vending machine place and told them to "get on the ball." they finally came and talked to adam, and told him somebody from our building went nuts on him when he last came to stock the machine and used a hand-truck to bring the snacks in, and there's a sign on the door that says "no hand-trucks" and so what's a vending man to do? i guess never come back. until my email, and he stocked the whole vending machine, though ignoring my post-it to put two rows of cheetos in. but guess what??? he made everything a dollar, even candy bars. what a spiteful man! it's just the talk of the office, mainly by me. but in the mean time, i had to have cheetos. it's like when you start to give a dog a piece of towel soaked with bacon grease and then pull it away, it's all they can think of for hours. i thought of cheetos even more than i should. so i went to the Hy-Vee and shopped for a bag of cheetos, and finally decided on the healthy "oven baked" ones because as i'm not riding my bike, skating or going to the ymca these days, i want to give my butt the least amount of reason to expand. and it's so exciting to have a whole bag to myself i opened them in the car and ate them on the way home, and hooo-weee, they sucked. imagine getting the "our family" brand of macaroni-n-cheese and sprinkling the cheese powder on a rice cake and eating it. totally gross and unsatisfying. i can't wait until i finish the bag and can get a new snack at home. so the lesson is, don't buy a big amount of an un-tried snack. you just might hate it!!!

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