Parties, Jackets and Cats

holy crap, where do i get all this energy to party? oh simply borrow it from tomorrow. had to take an emergency nap today to try to normalize after last night, did some band photos and then was viciously corralled into drinking more. i'm crossing my fingers about the posed ones, have no hopes for the live ones. keep remembering someone else i talked to last night when i went to the bourbon and watched bands. i know, i didn't think i did that anymore either. i remember when i was fun and not lame. saw a band which is either a band that i know or a group of dudes who play musical chairs and change members with the day of the week, either way was glad not to see that one idiot ex in the line-up.
still thinking about winter and how to avoid it's effects, cuz it's been getting colder, like it always does. earlier this week stetson and i went on a nice ride, though the ride back after the sun went down was so freaking cold, it wasn't even funny. i decided that i finally need to get a riding jacket, and have been debating for days about which one. should i go with the leather or textile version? or the other one? stetson is tired of the subject. but it's so exciting, can't wait to order and get my sweet non-retail dealer price:))) went to el chaparro for lunch with stetson today, we finally split the fajitas, they were good, and a great deal for two people with reasonable appetites to share. please alert the press with that one.
bill and xana need hobbies. cuz they are bugging the crap out of me. they just lose their toys under the couch, and that's always a depressing place to retrieve them. the only toy they don't manage to lose is this stupid shakey plastic ball that they've pulled all the yarn covering off into a foot long tangled mess that hangs on by a piece of glue. i finally decided that if they lose their toys, then they can get them themselves. i lifted up the couch and see one of their favorite toys, and bill runs under there to get it. he comes out with a sucker and i take it away from him and make xana go under there to and get the toy, and she comes out with a dentapick. dang it cats, don't you know you're supposed to do what i tell you? i finally get the toy for them, but bill is already fiercely playing with the sucker, like eyes wild and ears back and trying to tear it apart. now they're playing with the jingle ball toy, i expect to hear it stop jingling any minute now when it goes under the couch. you think they'd learn, but no. they jump up on my chair and squeak and meow (which is really cute) and push their way onto my lap because they want to help me type. sometimes i imagine there is evolution going on and they'll imitate me, like typing my emails or using the toilet. but i'm not holding my breath as they always chase the laser pointer. NO MATTER WHAT.

good bye summer!
so dark in the morning, needing jackets in the evening, last state fair in lincoln - (bozo has been replaced by "SNAPS", a more polite dunk-tank clown), wedding season slowing down, thinking about oatmeal instead of mini spooners, shop is slowing down, school has started for kids.
for all the love and attention i gave my garden, this is what i get in return:
5 tomatos, two zuchini, buckets of cucumbers (tired of them after 2 weeks of all cuc recipes), and about 3 weeks of good salad greens. now there's about 15 green tomatos on the vine, who knows if they'll ever ripen before the frost or they just go bad.
the worst thing about looking at winter from a season away, is the light.
things to look forward to are the pumpkins. and apple cider at arbor lodge, and soup night!!! and i always love thanksgiving and the holiday season. close-out catalogs for motorcycle stuff (the clothes, i'm gonna get a nice jacket and boots finally), and blankets.
i'm going to make a winter survival guide for people who look at winter with dread (Ok, i'm making it for myself, it may apply to other people) with all sorts of great tips and hints.
first thing to do is get these with galoshes:

ball of stress

maybe i need to bring my minispooners (generic mini frosted shredded wheats) to work with me so i never have to be sad/hungry again. or maybe i need to go to bed earlier or do things right now instead of last minute. and maybe i should be rich.
bill
ms. xanadu weatherbyyes, i set up a backdrop and made my kitties pose for me.

today i bought my first bottle of perfume. so now i'm becoming an old lady! oh well. i had a crap ass day, super behind on photos and stuff, need to stay up late and get things done. NOT drink beer with friends.

biz

summer is zipping on by with no help from me, i've just been working away in front of my computer and pulling weeds in my yard for a fun break. i've been thinking about changing the online proofing and ordering for my clients (again) and there doesn't seem to be one great place that does it all. some have super customizable layouts and awesome streamlined features like push-button proof books and instant order fulfillment, which would save soooooooooo much time and energy on my end. other places are EASY to navigate and use, which is a major thing for me. if i can't get around and figure out some sample gallery, my clients DEFINITELY can't do it. not like i'm really amazing on the computer, but you got to think about the grandmas out there. the grandmas with money. if the gallery makes it easy for people to pick out what they want, navigate around, have fun and order a bunch of expensive things, then that's waht i want. but hmmm.. decisions.
i think stetson and i are going to take the rz for a ride tonight, finally!
i gotta get me some summer!

my top things & stuff

new photos!!!
packages
petting my cats
text messages
when the lawn is mowed
when it's raining when i wake up
listening to the radio
client praise
coffee
fat checks
being on top of my game
laying in bed
clean kitchens
eating
running

the last few times i've gone running, it's been crappy. and that sucks. because when i have a bad experience doing something, i shy away from doing it again. and i just call that smart. but with running, that's not how i want to feel. maybe one day i didn't drink any water, or i'm hungover, or i've just shot a wedding (for example) and i then decide to go out a little earlier than usual, when it's still hot out and next thing i know there's a hot diamond pressing into my forehead with all my blubber pinching into my stomach and i feel vomity. then i walk home, kind of ashamed that i wimped out. but there's been days where i get up that hill feeling all great and strong and think about how i've really made some sort of break through and i'm gonna say good-bye to muffin-top in the next few months. but hell, then i do the long route in nothing flat, i'm like "what muffin-top?" but everyone has muffin-top, in varying amounts. true.

my mom and i went on a trip around nebraska in june, finding some of the most beautiful camping spots around. our trips are usually a highlight of my year, and sometimes my only vacation. this time was no exception, though knots in my stomach because of biz difficulties and pissed off phone calls from family members made it harder to lose myself in photographing than it has in the past.

things are getting better though, computer probs fixed and internet fired up and connected. working like mad on photos from forever ago, watching the greasy young teens walk up and down the block, to and from the gas station for gallons of pop, reveling in the amazing puberty which has caused them to grow and feel funny.

here is a pretty pretty picture of some pretty pretty peonies from my garden. this is one of the reasons i moved back to nebraska, to have my own patch of dirt to play in. and ha, i got one helluva big patch of dirt now, which constantly needs mowing and weeding and watering and tending. and it totally rules.

OMG it's been a month and a half since i last said anything, lame. if i could just stream the blogs i make in my head, everyone would be much more satisfied.
my little sister's boyfriend brian is the best. they have cats also, and love them very much. one day brian was talking with my grandma about how much they love their cats, and then he said, "i just think about having a child and how great it would be to have them love you back" these words make you golden.
today i worked in my garden (yay) to relieve the stress of talking with insurance people (ick) and came inside to see that my own little kitties had taken the bag of moss that i was going to put on the rock wall in back, and ripped it up and strewn it all over the kitchen. dirt and moss and bag everywhere. brats!! i yelled at them and shook my finger at them, and they just purred and looked at me, excited that i was standing so close to their food container. they didn't even know i was mad. i thought to myself, "i can't wait to have a kid someday cuz eventually they'll know when i'm mad at them." you can't be too mad at something that is just happy you're around.

i'm giving a presentation (i guess) to the lincoln camera club tomorrow, i think just on my own work! i guess. so i'm looking through all my files, trying to find different projects to put on a dvd for a slideshow. and i can't find anything! most of my early work was shot on film, and what i scanned i scanned at 6696 x 8964 px and they take 25 minutes to open in photoshop. or else they were scanned at 150 x 250 px and look like dookie. so i'm trying to figure out what to do if i can't find some good quality manageable files.

xana, my kitty, was spayed today, and now she's all drugged up and retarded. she just spent 45 minutes sitting in the bathtub looking at her water dish with her paws completely soaked. bill, her brother, looks like a genius right now and is taking every opportunity he can to lick her pooper. it weirds me out, cuz i think he enjoys it. i made an appointment for bill to go in for an operation on thursday, before he gets any more big ideas about his sister. sorry bill. xana and bill came from a welding/auto shop in lincoln, xana was randomly found by my dad about a week after gypsy rose ran away. my dad and i went to the shop the next day, and the guy said he wanted to give her to a good home. and he let me take her home right then! she was a dream kitty, and i went back to get her brother a week later. he's another story. which i'm sure you'll hear all about in the future.

Saturday

adam 2000 looking for the lighter, at the estate sale.
the little blue bike that DIDN'T SELL! not even for $2.50!!
relaxing after tennis... who would have ever guessed that i would wear shoes like that and get talked into playing tennis by THAT GUY?
bmfk and i decided to visit a place dear to our youth, bum city. this is what you see when you're finally close to the entrance, when you're cold and your back hurts, and you're just starting to think that you'll never get out.
i spent alot of time down there with my friends, spray painting crap and hanging out. it was really cool to get down there again, not much has changed really. saw things i wrote in 1993, and saw things that i remembered seeing back then, and the best part is seeing all the amending of messages over the years, the additions to drawings or phrases. it's like time doesn't exist. i remember being down there, and it was like everything was written by some other kids in the last couple weeks, even though "irving rules" was painted when you were 2. and it still felt like that way, like i was 15 and wearing my combat boots hanging out with my cool friends booger and d-formed.
yes, that says blessed sacrament. what kind of bad ass catholic kids would come down and spray paint their schools' name, but not write "sucks" or something? they were bad, but not that bad:) and yes, you can also see how several people felt about no doi, the zine robin and i used to do.
this took some initiative.
this is cool because it probably was painted in 1976, and you can see where the water has washed away some of the paint during the floods. funny, the danger of flash floods never crossed our minds. ahh, youth.

i'm sick of wearing my ugly winter clothes, winter needs to unclasp it's claws from lincoln. nice day here, nice day there, next thing it's a 20 degree day in april and i feel as if it's too much to hope for to actually GET summer. high hopes!
it's funny, i've been feeling lonely and funky lately, even though i talk to tons of people and make a point to meet up with my friends. weather, anyone? i was hanging out with this guy for a bit, but jsut wasn't seeing it going anywhere and kept meaning to call and say just that... but i'm a chicken and didn't do anything until he walked into duffy's where i was holding someone else's hand, and then i still didn't do anything because i was too embarassed with myself and how shitty i am. he'll probably read this because he knows how to use the internet, unlike stetson, who... well, he's much better with a wrench. but that's fine, the world needs mechanics. and the world needs broken hearts, they slow down the spin from all the love. i just made that up, it's retarded. this is about as specific as i get on ye old blogge, cherish it. speaking of ex-boyfriends, taka has a cat named puff.

killer

today the wind was blowing so hard, i thought it was going to blow my house down. i was sitting in my "office" upstairs working on photos and looking out the window at the weather (yes, it's a pasttime) and kind of getting scared because i can feel it through the floor and hear the creaks in the walls. it's kind of thrilling, but terrifying at the same time. most of the time it was more terrifying. like, first a shingle would blow off, and then a bunch more would come off, and then big pieces of the roof would blow off and next thing you know the wind has whittled away my ancient little house to nothing. but it didn't! yay me. but then i made some food and turned the tv on, and oh, there were tornados going on. i heard the sirens, but thought it was a test. i was busy listening to mystery play internet radio, (mpir.com - awesome) and they weren't playing local weather.

i finished processing an awesome shoot, "pro"-blogged about it, see a few extras on my flickr. all day today i worked on an engagement shoot and then started working on the other awesome shoot i did, at the public and black market. i'm so tired, and so tired of looking at the computer. i usually don't let myself stop working unless it's a short break, but i might just call it quits. have a drink, watch a cool photoshop tutorial, take it easy.

that was my plan at least, until i got 3 urgent emails from clients & etc, and next thing you know it's time to go to bed. lame. ok fine, they can wait till tomorrow.

exercise

i don't know what it is about exercise, but it just makes me want to eat chips and dip or some other such exercise-negating treat. so after my little run (or maybe jog...) i came home and ate chips and dip with a big ncdg cup of soy milk while watching antiques roadshow. and had a nice stretch as well. i loooove saturdays.

i'm getting tired of writing blogs about how much i've been crying, so it's especially tiring that here's another one...

first, GREAT NEWS! finally got a cat, from the awesome cat house, an all cat no kill shelter in lincoln. she's small, all black, has long hair and light green eyes. she has the suspiciously hippy-scented name "gypsy rose," but as she has been a homeless outdoor kitty in kansas, it sounds like a good fit if you name 10 cats a day. she is soft and silky, has a fat little tummy and cutest meow.

next, BAD NEWS. gypsy rose escaped, and is on the lam. i set food out for her, and put pounce treats in it. cuz see, she wasn't eating her food when she was with me, she would just eat the pounce i'd feed her. i figured if i left food out for her with some treats in it, and only the treats would be gone, then maybe it could be her. for two nights some creature ate the pounce and left the food...

so then i had one of the helpful cat house volunteers set up a trap behind my house with fancy feast tempting her inside, and i caught a grey cat, not my little black cat. will try with pounce again tonight, and possibly a video camera on time lapse.

it's tragic.

jobs are piling up like crazy. and just think, that i have a full 6 months of this ahead of me, looking at beautiful brides and making them even more beautiful. i should be happy that i'm busy, and looking forward to the day i raise my prices and can hire an assistant:)

another beee-autiful day today, sat on my porch swing for the second time and watched the neighborhood pre-teen rats ride bikes around and yell at each other. and to the trained eye, feel extremely uncomfortable when the female pre-teen rats come out of their dwelling and slink down the street with their greasy bangs. ahh spring...

tonight some gals are going to the sk8zone, girls i used to skate with. i haven't been on skates since july or something, how sad! i invited the lanky youngster i've been texting recently, and he told me he'll rent some 'blades. i just went, "aaaaaaugh! really??" and he's like "yeah, oh no, does that like take me down a notch in your eyes?" and i said it depends on his moves. and that's true. as long as i don't fall, and can eat some nachos the night will be a success. what if we have to hold hands? i suppose i could ask my neighborkids for advice on skating rink matters. it's always a good sign if a dude will come to the rink with you, risking injury and humiliation in exchange for a couples skate. what if he's a better skater than me though? what if i'm the one who falls? if he's late, i'm gonna be p.o.'d

ciao

the grape mistake

i get so cold throughout the day, that when it's time to go to bed i can't even warm up under the covers and i just lie awake cold as ice from buns to feet. the other night i was employing the best warming method, a water bottle with really hot water in it under the covers with me, when suddenly i felt this burning on my legs, it was wet, and i tried to get away from it, and then it started to feel really shock-y & weird, and i realized my electric blanket was electrocuting me. yes, i know, don't bother telling me how stupid it is to use a water bottle and an electric blanket at the same time, it honestly didn't cross my mind until then. i freaked out, jumped out of bed and turned on the light, and checked out the situation. my freaking water bottle broke! like a big crack through the side, and it had spurted hot water on my legs and feet, and it was so hot (because i put boiling water in it) that the burns felt like a shock. but now they're blistering, and my hot water bottle is broke. this is too bad, but a good lesson. i will have to use the strange hot/cold pack i used when i skated and would injure myself, wrapping the cold bead-filled tube around the knee or ankle or what ever part hurt. if you put it in the microwave, it gets hot and lets off steam heat which is supposedly supposed to give better more penetrating heat than just a hot brick or something.

i can't think of words today, like "symbolism." that came to me after a long while. i couldn't even think of a similar word, or a synonyme. the closest thing i could think of was "represent."

so, by now my bed should be warmed by the lectric blanket, and you should know that i tricked you into thinking there would be a story about humorous blunder involving grapes. gotcha!

i think the term is weepy, for the state of my mind. the weather turned to shit again, even this morning was kind of nice and in the 40's, and then it got really cold and windy... not the freezing rain they predicted, but it was bad enough. the first few days of the week were so nice (50's & 60's) it almost makes you feel alive again. i need to put a permanent 6 week vacation into my yearly schedule from now on, get the rock out of here.
am fixing cookies. "why is that so interesting?" you may ask, because i have a stove now!! my house didn't come with a stove or a fridge, and my dad who is amazing, ran a gas line up to my kitchen and put my grandma vi's basement stove in last weekend. grandma vi had a stove upstairs and a stove downstairs for maximum cooking power. that's a grandma for you. so i am making cookies from scratch, you know, mix the butter and eggs together and then put the mix in, and good god, they're good. betty crocker.
last weekend my mom and i went to see grandma edna in scottsbluff, and took some indulgent detours on the way. photo detours. mom is the only one i can travel like that with, no one else has the patience to stop because of an interesting tree or a funny building. we pretty much entertain ourselves for days on end taking photos of worn wood, cows and trailers all over nebraska. it sucks when it's cold like this because it's not so nice to stay outside for very long. here are a few i like from last weekend:
it's hard to put them up because i don't know if people see what i see in them, not because i am afraid people will get something different out of them, but like they'll look at them and say "booooring, i hate landscape. where's tugboat?" but i think these are funny and sad. i feel like i'm finally getting this project down, it's nice. what will be even nicer will be when my mom and i get our nebraska website up and all our photos on it! but until then you'll just have to come to my studio the next first friday for an evening of me talking to other people because i know you and i don't know them and i'm a business lady now. but seriously, come! byow&c, i'm not a rich business lady yet. w=wine. c=cheese

snack review

have you ever been to another country and found your favorite dumb thing to eat, and after taking the first bite or drink and it's totally different. it's like, "finally mountain dew! heck, i'll buy two 2 litres and just go back to my room and drink it all. (glug glug glug) what the hey??? this is not mountain dew, it's like mountain CRAP! no, it's more like MOUNTAIN PEE!!" and you just can't imagine what happened to the flavors. well, that's what happened when i purchased one of my favorite snacks, cheetos. see, there is a vending machine in the 80's office torture room in the basement of our building, and when the feeling gets me, i have to go get a mini-bag. well, one day i went down there and ho! no cheetos available. and no cheetos the next week, and the next. the machine just ran out of snacks one by one. and even worse, there was a row of candy items that you couldn't buy. you put your money in and the red light would flash by the "choose another item" sign, the whole row was like that. you can imagine my frustration. so i wrote an angry post-it for who ever stocks the machine, though after a month of no cheetos, my post-it just mocked me everytime i went to check on the cheeto status. finally, it was so bad that i had to write an email to the vending machine place and told them to "get on the ball." they finally came and talked to adam, and told him somebody from our building went nuts on him when he last came to stock the machine and used a hand-truck to bring the snacks in, and there's a sign on the door that says "no hand-trucks" and so what's a vending man to do? i guess never come back. until my email, and he stocked the whole vending machine, though ignoring my post-it to put two rows of cheetos in. but guess what??? he made everything a dollar, even candy bars. what a spiteful man! it's just the talk of the office, mainly by me. but in the mean time, i had to have cheetos. it's like when you start to give a dog a piece of towel soaked with bacon grease and then pull it away, it's all they can think of for hours. i thought of cheetos even more than i should. so i went to the Hy-Vee and shopped for a bag of cheetos, and finally decided on the healthy "oven baked" ones because as i'm not riding my bike, skating or going to the ymca these days, i want to give my butt the least amount of reason to expand. and it's so exciting to have a whole bag to myself i opened them in the car and ate them on the way home, and hooo-weee, they sucked. imagine getting the "our family" brand of macaroni-n-cheese and sprinkling the cheese powder on a rice cake and eating it. totally gross and unsatisfying. i can't wait until i finish the bag and can get a new snack at home. so the lesson is, don't buy a big amount of an un-tried snack. you just might hate it!!!

First Friday, People!

It's First Friday again, this time I'm putting some personal work up! It's a sampling of my Nebraska photos, an ongoing body of work I'm building side-by-side with my mother, Susan Horn. Stop by and say hi, see what I do in my spare time, and check out the other galleries and shops in the Parrish Projects!
When? Friday, February 6, 2008 from 7pm-10pm (I'm at the end of the hall on the right!)
Where? the Parrish Projects at 1410 O Street

let's pretend we're grown-ups

i have a new blog up and running, it's "professional" so i don't talk about getting drunk or boyfriends or use curse words & etc. it's weird, trying to be "professional." not long ago, i was at a party where i didn't know anyone but my friend who was hosting it. pretty soon after i started socializing, i realized everyone thought i was nutty or cRaZzy. i don't know how to explain it, but i couldn't just be myself and be hilarious without everyone looking at me in shock/disgust. i had to reel it in, change my strategy, and pretend these people are my clients and act accordingly. i guess they all knew each other, and when you get some tattooed girl in their circle who drinks straight gin and talks like a sailor, everyone pays attention and "judges." maybe i'm the one who is judging, but that's just how i felt the other night. so being "professional" is new for me. i've given up on being a punk and having scabies and warrants, but i'm not comfortable being the other way either. yeah, it's a bitch trying grow up when you're all set in your old ways.
so anyways, check out the new blog!
taurahornphotography.blogspot.com

did i mention mobsters is lame?
i have become way less addicted to the internet since i don't have it anymore, it's super. tasha uses her neighbors, and does tons of downloading. can i say that? but one day she looked at the name of the signal thing, and it said, "please stop using limewire" which is hilarious. i use my neighbors, i think they're old people. i think this because the signal isn't always there, which makes me believe that they turn it off, like how they feel about telephones. if you're not using it, hang it up. and then i don't get a weak ass internet signal after matlock comes on.
my nostrils froze together this morning on the walk from my car to work. i had to park 4 blocks away and walk, and of course there was a luncheon (the culmination of several months planning and hustling) that i had to dress nicely for, so not only did my nostrils get cold, but my knee caps strangely were freezing cold. this is the dark period friends, when it's on the down falls and has to get worse before it gets better. today it was -9 out, and it's going to be like this for a while more. depressing, cold, i haven't even taken a walk in my new neighborhood, and i wear ugly winter clothes all the time cuz i'm such a wimp. what can i say? winter sucks... i could just come home each day and watch such things as the two hour american idol show (like on tuesday) or the two hour "goodbye grissom" marathon of csi (like tonight), or start catching up on all the shows i don't care about then start drinking with dinner, and wake up in spring about 20lbs heavier and a million times more lame... i should try to be more productive with all this downtime, and work on my "stuff" that i'm supposed to do, and that other stuff i'm supposed to be devoting my life to, you know "art." this is a constant complaint for me. but it's winter, it's ok to complain. i'll just probably get a cat and become obsessed with it like molly is with her cats. do you think cats would make good models? probably not. freeze dry them i guess.
our teenager at work is turning out to be cool i guess, though he has the usual trappings of a teenager (kfrx, gaming, etc). he talked to me about getting internet. i turn into a total idiot when it comes to techy computer things, i just can't bother. if i learn about things, then i have to know about them. and that just won't do. i think he spends alot of time on the internet, wonder if he tracked this blog down or not. internet is a big one for me to think about.
things on my personal to do list:
get internet
get new bag for fuji 645
go to dentist and get falled out filling filled
make more art
see boyfriend
get cat
laundry
pay bills

don't even ask about the "taura's cool photography biz" to do list, it would blow your mind.

ciao mfs.