i have found a faint wireless signal in the south east corner of my living room, awesome. between my laptop konking out on me, and not having internet at my house yet, it's been a loooong loooong time since i had easy internet access. probably 6-7 weeks. so this is a nice surprize:)
we have a new guy at work, he's a teenager. his previous job was at wendy's, and he treats this job much the same way. today i was folding programs, and he comes in and stands about 6 inches too close playing with a rubber band or a staple or something. usually you expect someone to say something eventually, but not our guy. just stands there. sometimes i'll just turn to him and say, "oh sorry, is there something you needed?" and he'll take his self elsewheres.
when i was making a stop at sun mart on my way home, i parked beside a van. a couple of kids got out as i walked to the store. i ended up walking behind one of them, smelling the stale cigarette smoke and b.o. waft in my direction, and i just looked. he had on those terrible flimsy sports shorts on, and had pulled the back elastic part down below his butt, exposing a maroon pair of flannel boxers someone else bought him. maybe to fart better. or pick some nanny balls out easier. then he had on some black puffy skater shoes, with no socks! it's fucking 18 degrees outside, and he's wearing shorts and no socks.
teenagers...

oh poopers

i've been up to my eyeballs in this and that, still haven't unpacked or bought groceries since i moved into my awesome house almost 3 weeks ago... everything's so urgent! everything on my plate has a #1 on it as far as priorities go, and it's just so much to do. on the lighter side, i wrote a press release for a new cd on monday, not having listened to it yet. so i made things up and guessed about others. should i be saying this? and i am just listening to it right now, and the song i called "inspiring" is actually "depressing," "somber" and "funeralesque" work better. maybe i could change it "thoughtful" before i send it out.
i'm wearing a bob marley hoodie. it's stetson's.
i got a haircut yesterday from the wonderful mandy at tangerine, i think i should just make a standing appt like people do. new haircuts are so amazing, i went from about 15 years old to 28 years old without having a professional haircut. that's alot of time, especially because i'm mostly an adult during this time. it's much better than getting a new shirt too! but just barely...

photos from warmer days...

this is frankie boy. when he becomes frankie man, i'm hoping he makes it with tina and they have a baby dog together. and i'm going to get that dog!


a trip to indian caves with stetson, we took his bike down a path through the woods to the river and then my boots went into the mud and almost came off.
stetson goofing off, maybe going to fall in:)
xoxo t

i looked in the mirror this morning, and my head has turned to a silver hair factory. i saw like 6 new ones. i guess you can't look 23 forever, someday you gotta look 24.

of course the growth of silver hairs wouldn't have anything to do with me - drumroll - buying a house, would it? it was love at first sight, and now it's a nightmare making it work out.

my laptop broke. hard drive went kablooey. no internet, no blogging, no checking emails, no ordering clients photos without a lot of planning and driving and schlepping around huge lacie drives.

having a opening at my studio for the next first friday, busy trying to get everything ready for that.

and my website will be finished soon! it's going to kill. i'm not building it, but it takes soooo much work editing, finishing, and preparing the photos and text to go on it. decisions to be made, problems to solve, etc... can't wait.

and i have business cards finally!

along with shooting weddings, engagement shoots, meeting with clients, i have a full plate. and grey hairs.

book review

today i am going to review the 1972 Readers Digest Condensed Fine Novels.

it's hard to read good books when you don't have money to buy books, or timely enough to keep on track with library due dates. so you read your books that you've already read before, or books that you find in the free bin outside of "a novel idea" bookstore. i'm also reading "Seinlanguage" by jerry seinfeld, it stays at my studio because it's not worth reading for more time than when you're waiting for a client to arrive. an actual good book that i found in the free bin is the david brinkley autobiography, can't wait to finish that one and review it. the worst book i read was about secular humanism. it scarred my mind. the problem with condensed books is that someone has taken chunks out of them to get that condensed feeling in order to fit the bill for readers digest. i try to guess at the gaps in plot, and wonder if it was sloppy editing, or just sloppy writing. with readers digest, you never know. the one from 1972 starts out with a murder/action/mystery novel about an old lady who is a spy and knows karate. it was a page turner, and i have a fondness for the old lady, but things just tied up too nicely in the end for me to feel much happiness that they turned out that way. another of the stories was a romance/time-traveling type thing revolving around a bonny woman who we all grow to love. fate is pitted against her, and her bodice is ripped often due to ale-fueled knights and knaves. she has fallen in love with the wrong man, a monk named stephan, who loves her also but when they have sex he punished himself for his sins by wearing a hair shirt. another novel in the book is more like a guide, a guide to japanese culture. as i dated a japanese guy for a period of time, i thought it could shed some light on our relationship. mostly, it's about how much better american/western practice is because we get things done, though the author does go into great lengths about how fine a tradition it is to have geishas. i'm not sure reading it 3 years ago would have helped taka and i make things work. though i haven't exactly read every single page of the 1972 readers digest condensed fine novels, i can safely recommend that you don't read it. if you happen across it on the shelves in a store, keep moving on.

so many exciting things going on!
cs4 is out, can't wait to get started once i figure out how to finagle a copy out of someone...
my new website is almost ready, worked on it until late last night with my mom and sister molly. how lucky am i to have a sister who designs websites and has great taste, and a mom who teaches photography, design, and web design? i thank my lucky stars that not only do i have a great family who i get along with, but that they're wonderfully talented and lend their skills to my undertakings. i am very excited about the new website, it will mostly be my commercial stuff, with a sampling of personal work consisting of the nebraska project, cambodia documentary and my tree/night/mandala body of work.
have three shoots lined up in the next few days, a couple engagement shoots and a fashion shoot with the most beautiful megabomb. stoked about that.
stetson and i raced his zuma scooter with my rd60, it was very close. mostly depended on who got off the starting line first, which depended on who said "go" first. finally got my helmet, it rules.
did you know you can get a ticket for not putting those little stickers on your licence plates after you renew your registration? who knew... all those things no one ever bothers to tell a girl.
it's beautiful out, especially for late september. i better shower and get down to the martini bar to meet my mom and sister tasha, it's friday night.
my mobsters is going ok, got my skyscraper finally. but have not been kicking so much ass these days, working on upping my energy instead of my attack power. can't have it all... sometimes i imagine it's real money.

things & stuff...

have been dreaming about riding motorcycles lately. it's awesome. i told the stets a while ago that i want a motorcycle, a real motorcycle. and he asked what kind. so i don't know anything about motorcycles, i just know what i think looks cool, and i told him there's a little green one at the shop he works at that i like. he tells me that it's his, he's restoring it to sell it, and i can buy it for what he's put into it. and then today i talk to him and he's riding it around, and tomorrow when i go to the shop i can ride it too! i'm so excited. it's a little yahama rd60, just my size. it looks like this:

i think it'll roar down A st just fine:)
i'm feeling a little better today.
tomorrow i go back to jen's class at bryan h.s. to talk to her kids about their photographs they made this last week. last thursday i went in and brought some of my work and talked to them about photography. jen has told me that they're really excited about the assignment we gave them "personal documentary," and some of them have already been bringing in photos they've taken, which makes me happy. i'm so stoked to see what they came up with, we talked about taking their photos and turning it into a zine. how cool is that? i'd like to have a show at my studio for a first friday in conjunction with their zine if jen's up for it.

wonderful email...

this is one of my favorite spam messages ever. look at the thought put into this! and the song titles are golden, it's like a stream of conciousness from one song to the next. and so i give the gift of gift to you. someone should email gift and find out the lyrics.
have i posted this before?

I NEED A MUSICAL LABEL

My name is GIFT, I am a rapping artist and a SONGS WRITER, I have 1 track demo which titled "lord I pray" and other 23 tracks not yet voice.please if there is any musical label that has an interested in having a deal with upcoming artist let them contact me please I am good all I need is an assistance , so that I can get back to them with my demo.

some list of my songs are:

My startin point ( da sky will be my startin point)
Who I am ( lord show me who I am)
Lord knows why
Search
U know i luv u
I can't forget
My best brother
Mum is gon
Babe is ok
Da world is pain ( been born at all is a great risk)
Aids is real
Will u cry 4 me?
Will u luv me when am down
They luv me when they don"t know me
That's how we lay
I need no woman luv

GIFT ENOLUOMHEN
22, AREMU OLATUNBOSUN STREET,
MAFOLUKU OSHODI. LAGOS STATE.
NIGERIA
POSTAL CODE: 23401
EMAIL: chatwithagift@yahoo.com AND giftfarm@yahoo.com
CELL: +2348020572859 AND +2348030449109

feeling mean and sad and fugly. feeling washed out and tired. want to rant about the boyfriend. and things are really actually fine, maybe it's just that time of the month where i get worked up easily. last week my car got towed and i freaked out on the police lady on the phone i talked with, and then she called back and told me i could get a ticket for that kind of behavior. and i was really in a state at that point, and am like, "WHA-HUH-HUHT FORRR!" and am standing on the corner bawling with snot coming out of my nose and everything. and i'm a block away from the police station and telling a lady "fuck you" on the phone... great idea. great self control. that's the kind of thing that'll get me arrested. i missed an important appointment because my car was in the tow yard, and then the next day my bike got a flat tire on the way into work. friday was good, my dad's birthday. went out for martinis, food at the red fox, and cake at g-ma's. saturday sucked. sunday had a photo shoot with katelyn, and then right after it finished, sunday sucked. i don't want tomorrow to suck. today was cool, had tacos and margaritas with delaney after work, but then had to go to the sprint store cuz my phone is breaking... i've had more than my fair share of problems with sprint, and tonight the supervisor told me that my plan looks fraudulent and he wasn't going to do anything to help me. !!! that sucked. tomorrow i'm going to shower and dress cute and try not to say dumb shit. today i wore (from the bottom up) tan boots, brown jeans, a tan tank top with a purple/blue patterned scarf. the tank top was a bad choice, but i topped it all off with a black northface performance warmth shirt thing. what??? how ugly is that? super. dang. no wonder i feel like crap, i look like a dumb shit who doesn't know how to match.
but good news is around the corner, molly is making me a killer website that i'm really stoked on!! and she's giving my name and all that a look i love. i'm going to go nuts with the business cards, stationary, brochures, etc... i should cheer up and go to bed.
sorry to be so vague about why days are sucking.

i'm finally registered to vote in this sea of red! yes.

waste of time

25 things i could have done tonight besides play Mobsters

1)make a nice blog instead of a crappy list
2)do the dishes
3)make a lunch for tomorrow
4)fold my laundry
5)process derby photos
6)process nebraska photos
7)process state fair photos
8)make art
9)work on wedding albums
10)write emails to the zillion people i need to write to
11)snuggle with the stets (but we talked about Mobsters on the phone instead of hanging out!!! lame!)
12)deposit my paychecks
13)get my photo gear ready for tomorrow
14)read my readers digest condensed novels
15)call my mom
16)work on my website with molly
17)look for a new job
18)organize my desk
19)pay my bills
20)sit ups
21)hang out with someone
22)organize the photos i'm bringing to jen's class next week
23)make a zine
24)dance
25)ANYTHING besides the time sucking activity i partook in.

and then literally 5 hours later i stand up to stretch and look around, and hey! there's a room behind me! a real world! i may not own six pump action shotguns or 4 restaurants that earn me $3650 every hour, but there's all this stuff which is actually real and i spent all evening doing absolutely nothing! dang, wouldn't i much rather messed around with all my crappy real stuff than stare at a computer screen and pretend i'm a bad ass mobster who has lots of money and guns? i'm not bad ass at all. that was lame, and i am ashamed of myself. this happens to me frequently, getting sucked into someone's blog, youtube, myspace, flickr, shopping for clothes and photo gear, etc etc... i'm going to be good for a while now, swear!!

chiggers

we went to pawnee lake last weekend, and the moment we got there, it clouded over. but that was ok, i made a killer quart of screwdriver and ran around in a bikini the whole time. yep, match made in hell. i have a nasty skinned knee and bruises, and chigger bites in unfortunate places. you should have been there, checked out my roundhouse kicks.

i went to a funeral today, it was sad.

i'm trying sooo hard to get my things together for my new and improved website, it's exciting. soon molly and i will get together and make a cool site, one sure to reel those brides in:)

you can pretend you're in the middle of my studio. it's awesome. or you could come down for the next first friday and see me! word.

the other day the stets and i played one of my most favorite card games, gin rummy. you know when it stops being my most favorite game? you know what a sore loser is? well, imagine how a sore loser acts when they're winning, and then give that person phenomenal card skills and try to play them at your favorite game. almost makes me want to resort to cheating. cheating or slapping. i tried my hardest not to be a sore loser, but i don't think i hid my disappointment very well. we'll have to have a talk tonight, we're grilling out and are going to use one of those chimney starters for the first time.

oh, and i didn't mean to imply that stetson is a sore loser, he was just a very annoying winner. maybe i'll kick his butt tonight at gin rummy and get to find out if he's a sore loser or not.

it's not really an office though...

Today at the office someone said "gooms" instead of "gums". She's 65 years old or something, how can one go their whole lives saying "gooms"? I guess one of her teeth fell out of her "gooms". This is the kind of thing that could keep me up at night, thinking of all the things that could go wrong with my teeth, and making ridiculous mispronunciations.

a little history...

the original function of this blog, was to help myself get over an ugly dude who blew me off. i was not going to be a hater, i was going to move on and be a dater. how i was going to do this, was go on blind dates obtained through craigslist, then let people vote who had the "better" emails and see which un-lucky fellow i should go on a heavily documented date with. and then i'd post photos and anecdotes from the date. so i posted an ad, and sifted through the douche bags looking for someone interesting. there was one this one dude i liked, he played in a metal band in the 80's that only my friend ross knew about. ONLY ross knew about them. at the exact same time, my friend eli asked me to drum in a band, which is hilarious, cuz i don't know how to drum worth shit, but i went to one practice. the other guy in the band was this japanese guitar hero named taka, who only listened to ac/dc. he knew some hot licks. but this is all happening at the exact same time... so the metal guy invited me to come watch his Ozzy Osborne cover band play at an A's game during half time the next sunday. and taka asked me to come to his birthday bbq that same sunday!!! so i had to make a decision, taka, or this other guy. well, we all know what happened, or at least you should by whose name i remember. and then, taka and i were together and the function of this blog was completed. i became a dater, and not a hater, but i just kept writing about stuff and posting photos and trying to be funny or something.

but, i don't talk about my romantic involvements on the blog. not only are they few and far between, but it just wouldn't be right. first of all, it's none of your business! second, what if the dude read it? third, i don't need people knowing how crazy i am. i am a great girlfriend (if i do say so myself) but can really "girl-out" in the beginning. do i call again today, or should i wait till tomorrow? maybe he's emailed in the last 5 minutes? better check. "girling-out" is that mindless freakout state where i can't control myself about wondering what's going on and if i've ruined it by two too closely spaced text messages, or a grievously short myspace message, or what have you. it's nonsense, and i become a ball of nerd. luckily, it only lasts for a week, and then i'm fine as long as the dude isn't too much of a chump. him being a chump only prolongs this stage for me. lincoln seems to be full of douche-bags, or guys who are in the friend zone for one reason or another. so i'm always really amazed when i meet someone who catches my attention. and then floored when i realize they don't deserve my attention. ack. but that's the way things go, right? i wonder what the percentage of relationships that are ended through the death of one person? because, how many relationships really "work out"? they may work out for a while, or longer, or 40 years, but people still split up after a long time. so, i know... the value and success of a relationship shouldn't be determined by how long it lasts, or if it lasts for the rest of someone's life. but that's what we all kind of want, right? something we can count on, that forever crap. i guess should be about the quality of time you two spend together, and how you improve the quality of life for each other. oh, my stream of consciousness, flowing into the interweb.

but so, secret is out, i kind of met someone, and i don't know if it's a match or not, but i'm really trying to keep my head over it. maybe in three months you'll see a photo of me and some non-douche bag goofing off. after three months they get upgraded from "douche bag" to "scum bag".

so the new blog is here, it's amusing to me.

"i've been busy getting my studio ready
i just left a message on some dude's voice mail that i met playing poker at a dive bar last weekend, i have a feeling that"

oh, saved by an internet failure. the ride home from work yesterday was so beautiful. i rode my bike as slowly as i could, to savor the nice weather, daydreaming about the future. when i got home, i made myself a drink and sat outside and talked to lizzy and adam 2000 for a while, it was great. if all days could be as nice as it was last night. makes a person so happy, especially after this crappy winter we've had. i made myself another drink, worked on some photos at my computer (not the internet), and talked on the phone to tasha who is in orlando right now. soo, the drink worked. and i got riled up and started a huge rant about "dudes" and "douche bags" and then a long story about a guy i liked a long time ago. and i'm like, "fuck it! it's true! just write it! post it! yeah!" and so i pressed the "publish post" button, and the screen came up blank. this morning same thing, blank screen, no internet connection. in the bright morning light, i remembered that i don't want people to know that story, or what i think of "dudes" & "douche bags", or the rest of the sentence you see at the top of this post. that was all blogger saved, thank goodness. of course if it HAD posted, i could have edited it asap, but it didn't.

today is beautiful also. and it makes me happy. my dad is at my studio, doing some work for me, he can rule when he wants to. it will be finished soon, by next friday, for....(drum roll) FIRST FRIDAY! yay! so it's a very busy time for me, there's a roller derby bout this friday that i'm skating in, a huge 12 hour wedding on saturday that i'm shooting, a studio to remodel by may 2nd, and a small show to create and hang by may 2nd. ack. but it keeps me busy! and is a heck of a lot more productive than watching youtube all night.

oh yeah! and i got a photo in the daily nebraskan! as in a photo of me looking rough and tough for derby. scans later...

alright

new blog

adam 2000 and i have started a new blog, called "spam-asides"
i know this sounds like it's going directly against my last post about overcoming my addiction to the internet, but it's not. i promise.

ack. i realize now that i'm addicted to the internet. it sucks. and i don't really do anything productive either. it sucks. but you know what sucks more? this spoken word crap on krnu, our college radio station. sorry. and the steps i'm going to take to fix my internet addiction are thusly:
1)remind myself that no one has messaged me on myspace in the last 5 minutes since i last checked.
2)remind myself that i don't need to watch another youtube video.
3)remind myself that unless i'm ACTUALLY planning on buying more photo gear, i don't need to troll around b&h, calumet, etc...
4)remind myself that i'm never going to buy clothes off the internet (never have, either) so it's pointless to look at the fashion shopping places.
5)remind myself that trolling around flickr isn't artistic research. in fact, today i re-wrote my bio for the place i work at, and i listed some of the things i enjoy, you know, "In my spare time, I enjoy gardening, riding my bike and making art." but you know what? i haven't been doing those things (except ride my bike), i don't crochet, draw, sew, work on my "real" art, etc etc... i abuse the internet. and that makes me mad. when i wrote this at work, and realized that i'm CHEATING myself out of a good life because of the youtube, the flickr, the shopping sites, the blogs i keep up on, etc. and that makes me mad.
6)and biggest of all, remind myself that this all makes me mad.

on this note, good night.

i'm living the internet nightmare. not the dream, tay, the nightmare. i'm addicted to the internet, and i don't even "chat" or do gaming or anything, just other crap like troll around on myspace and watch you tube.. i'm tired of it! i need a timer on my computer to just turn it off. how weak is that? weak.
last week we had one of those highschool seniors in our office, doing stuff to earn community service hours so he can graduate. he is the laziest teenager i've met in a while. he didn't want to work, he just wanted to talk about his stupid new PSP thing that he had hanging off a belt loop. apparently it's like an ipod and a gameboy crossed and can captivate the imagination of young men who have no goals. he wouldn't stop talking about it, and wanted me to be impressed with how many songs his friend gave him. like, 1,300. i was like, "cool, what kind of music did you get?" and he goes, "well, i don't think your type would know the kind of music." insulted by a teenager! later, i tried to give him a derby flyer, and he was like, "uhhh, i don't think so." and gave it back. "it looks kind of weird." every time i think i'd like to be a teacher, i come close to the kind of people i'd have to work with, and i realize i want them to be as far away from me as possible.
derby derby derby! this saturday, our season opener.

ha, can't hand that one back!!

at about 8pm today, while i was working on photos and stuff at my computer, i just got the urge to get up and go lay down on my bed. i don't really even remember doing it, but that's what must have happened. and i fell asleep face down on my bed. for an hour. and then i got up and got under the covers and slept for another hour. then i got up and fixed myself something to eat and read bike snob nyc for an hour and a half. i was supposed to be working like mad to get photos together for my website, and and i just slept and read blogs. the only way i could be more disappointed with myself is if i got caught in the vice dos&donts. i hate that magazine. so now it's 1am, and i'm wondering where my friday went.
short.
sentences.

it's cold

"nebraska... nebraska... i know it's around here somewhere."

today was cold once again, though not as cold as it was 6 weeks ago, or 3 weeks ago for that matter.
i have decided that it's embarrassing to have your friends try to set you up with people. especially if the person they're trying to set you up with is already your friend.

spam-o-rama

Subject: [SPAM: ] I wanted to make someone else jealous.
Body: Produce non-stop, rock hard erections that last all night long. http://skysohsighh.com/

adam 2000 and i have a... i guess you'd call it a hobby, of sending our best spam back and forth to each other with our own hilarious comments at the top. but no, you don't get to see them because they're just too hilarious for the internet. only intra-office email can handle this kind of hilarious. but seriously, i think our world would be alot better if there were less rock hard erections, we don't need products to make more. rock hard erections occur at opportune moments as when your girlfriend picks up a penny, a girl jogs by, a waitress asks if you'd like a cherry muffin, when you have to go complete a math problem at the board, and if you're gay, all of that but with dudes. if you need more boner time in your life, like as in there is a spare moment when you just can't conjure up a boner, you just might have too much time on your hands.

did you know that meatballs the movie has aliens in it? it was on tv today, and i'd never seen it before... it was one of those movies i'd look at in the video store, wishing my mom would rent it someday, but she never did. another movie that i looked at alot, was one that had two grown men dressed like babies being held in the arms of a gigantic woman who had gigantic breasts, even for her size. the two men, as you can imagine, were overjoyed at the prospect of... nursing? i never knew, but trying to imagine what these two men were so excited about kept me coming back and putting my thinking cap on. my mom wouldn't rent this movie either.
more photos from the depths. brad, when we house-sat for eli and naomi over thanksgiving in 2006.

"a puppy is not a motorcycle"

adam2000 said this at work today. i spend too much time at work, and it's cuz i'm too honest. i tried to explain it to nolan, like this: if i check my myspace, i don't count it in my hours (we keep track of our own hours). same as when i take a lunch or answer my own emails, i subtract it from my hours. since it's my own time, and i don't feel guilty about wasting my boss' money, i do as i please, and next thing you know i've talked to my mom for a half hour and worked on derby stuff for an hour. bla. and i come home and work on derby stuff or my own business stuff, and then it's time to sleep and all the interaction i've had with people is at work or derby, and next thing you know i'm a boring person...

i'm feeling melancholy right now, it's pretty boring. i have all these important things to do, and i'm not really doing them. i'm having trouble staying focused. i'm listening to kzum, and the guy said it's a snow storm outside. what! i just got home, and there was no snow... but sure enough in these few hours the snow started falling, and now it's back to winter time. i knew i should have taken the bike today, but i'm afraid of the cold. one day it was like 10 degrees out, but it was the first day in a while with minimal ice on the ground, so i HAD to ride my bike to work. and when i got to work, i was so cold that i was nauseous for half the day. it sucked, and now i don't want to ride unless it's above freezing when i start out. because no matter what, it might be nice when you start out, but then by the time you get ready to go home it's dark and waaaay colder. and i'm scared to ride on solid ice, i already know i'll just wipe out. so i drive, and i hate driving. some of my friends ride all winter long, even when it's dark and waaaaay cold. i became too much of a bay area girl to do that anymore. wonder when i'll be a nebraska girl again, totally fine with the winter being as long as it is.
i'm getting closer and closer to buying a house, i can almost taste it! my goal is to have one in time to plant a garden. can't wait!!
here's the poster i made for the derby battle of the bands, nolan said it looks like porn.

get here faster summer!!

siiiiick

i am obsessively checking my temperature since i got a thermometer today, it's been hovering between 100 and 101.
no, i am not finished with this blog, i have just been occupied since the new year with frivolous pursuits.
i am soooo ready to get out of bed and not have a pounding headache, i've been stuck here for the last 2 days, it sucks.

happy 200th post!

and have a great 2008!
much love,
t




things to look forward to in daters, not haters for 2008 and posts 201&up:
all the derby photos i haven't shown anyone WILL be posted!
a "year in review" by me, when i cut the crap out of the one i've already made.
more exciting updates about my life, as they happen! or soon after.
more photos, more jokes, more tears.
stay tuned!!