exercise

i don't know what it is about exercise, but it just makes me want to eat chips and dip or some other such exercise-negating treat. so after my little run (or maybe jog...) i came home and ate chips and dip with a big ncdg cup of soy milk while watching antiques roadshow. and had a nice stretch as well. i loooove saturdays.

i'm getting tired of writing blogs about how much i've been crying, so it's especially tiring that here's another one...

first, GREAT NEWS! finally got a cat, from the awesome cat house, an all cat no kill shelter in lincoln. she's small, all black, has long hair and light green eyes. she has the suspiciously hippy-scented name "gypsy rose," but as she has been a homeless outdoor kitty in kansas, it sounds like a good fit if you name 10 cats a day. she is soft and silky, has a fat little tummy and cutest meow.

next, BAD NEWS. gypsy rose escaped, and is on the lam. i set food out for her, and put pounce treats in it. cuz see, she wasn't eating her food when she was with me, she would just eat the pounce i'd feed her. i figured if i left food out for her with some treats in it, and only the treats would be gone, then maybe it could be her. for two nights some creature ate the pounce and left the food...

so then i had one of the helpful cat house volunteers set up a trap behind my house with fancy feast tempting her inside, and i caught a grey cat, not my little black cat. will try with pounce again tonight, and possibly a video camera on time lapse.

it's tragic.

jobs are piling up like crazy. and just think, that i have a full 6 months of this ahead of me, looking at beautiful brides and making them even more beautiful. i should be happy that i'm busy, and looking forward to the day i raise my prices and can hire an assistant:)

another beee-autiful day today, sat on my porch swing for the second time and watched the neighborhood pre-teen rats ride bikes around and yell at each other. and to the trained eye, feel extremely uncomfortable when the female pre-teen rats come out of their dwelling and slink down the street with their greasy bangs. ahh spring...

tonight some gals are going to the sk8zone, girls i used to skate with. i haven't been on skates since july or something, how sad! i invited the lanky youngster i've been texting recently, and he told me he'll rent some 'blades. i just went, "aaaaaaugh! really??" and he's like "yeah, oh no, does that like take me down a notch in your eyes?" and i said it depends on his moves. and that's true. as long as i don't fall, and can eat some nachos the night will be a success. what if we have to hold hands? i suppose i could ask my neighborkids for advice on skating rink matters. it's always a good sign if a dude will come to the rink with you, risking injury and humiliation in exchange for a couples skate. what if he's a better skater than me though? what if i'm the one who falls? if he's late, i'm gonna be p.o.'d

ciao

the grape mistake

i get so cold throughout the day, that when it's time to go to bed i can't even warm up under the covers and i just lie awake cold as ice from buns to feet. the other night i was employing the best warming method, a water bottle with really hot water in it under the covers with me, when suddenly i felt this burning on my legs, it was wet, and i tried to get away from it, and then it started to feel really shock-y & weird, and i realized my electric blanket was electrocuting me. yes, i know, don't bother telling me how stupid it is to use a water bottle and an electric blanket at the same time, it honestly didn't cross my mind until then. i freaked out, jumped out of bed and turned on the light, and checked out the situation. my freaking water bottle broke! like a big crack through the side, and it had spurted hot water on my legs and feet, and it was so hot (because i put boiling water in it) that the burns felt like a shock. but now they're blistering, and my hot water bottle is broke. this is too bad, but a good lesson. i will have to use the strange hot/cold pack i used when i skated and would injure myself, wrapping the cold bead-filled tube around the knee or ankle or what ever part hurt. if you put it in the microwave, it gets hot and lets off steam heat which is supposedly supposed to give better more penetrating heat than just a hot brick or something.

i can't think of words today, like "symbolism." that came to me after a long while. i couldn't even think of a similar word, or a synonyme. the closest thing i could think of was "represent."

so, by now my bed should be warmed by the lectric blanket, and you should know that i tricked you into thinking there would be a story about humorous blunder involving grapes. gotcha!

i think the term is weepy, for the state of my mind. the weather turned to shit again, even this morning was kind of nice and in the 40's, and then it got really cold and windy... not the freezing rain they predicted, but it was bad enough. the first few days of the week were so nice (50's & 60's) it almost makes you feel alive again. i need to put a permanent 6 week vacation into my yearly schedule from now on, get the rock out of here.
am fixing cookies. "why is that so interesting?" you may ask, because i have a stove now!! my house didn't come with a stove or a fridge, and my dad who is amazing, ran a gas line up to my kitchen and put my grandma vi's basement stove in last weekend. grandma vi had a stove upstairs and a stove downstairs for maximum cooking power. that's a grandma for you. so i am making cookies from scratch, you know, mix the butter and eggs together and then put the mix in, and good god, they're good. betty crocker.
last weekend my mom and i went to see grandma edna in scottsbluff, and took some indulgent detours on the way. photo detours. mom is the only one i can travel like that with, no one else has the patience to stop because of an interesting tree or a funny building. we pretty much entertain ourselves for days on end taking photos of worn wood, cows and trailers all over nebraska. it sucks when it's cold like this because it's not so nice to stay outside for very long. here are a few i like from last weekend:
it's hard to put them up because i don't know if people see what i see in them, not because i am afraid people will get something different out of them, but like they'll look at them and say "booooring, i hate landscape. where's tugboat?" but i think these are funny and sad. i feel like i'm finally getting this project down, it's nice. what will be even nicer will be when my mom and i get our nebraska website up and all our photos on it! but until then you'll just have to come to my studio the next first friday for an evening of me talking to other people because i know you and i don't know them and i'm a business lady now. but seriously, come! byow&c, i'm not a rich business lady yet. w=wine. c=cheese

snack review

have you ever been to another country and found your favorite dumb thing to eat, and after taking the first bite or drink and it's totally different. it's like, "finally mountain dew! heck, i'll buy two 2 litres and just go back to my room and drink it all. (glug glug glug) what the hey??? this is not mountain dew, it's like mountain CRAP! no, it's more like MOUNTAIN PEE!!" and you just can't imagine what happened to the flavors. well, that's what happened when i purchased one of my favorite snacks, cheetos. see, there is a vending machine in the 80's office torture room in the basement of our building, and when the feeling gets me, i have to go get a mini-bag. well, one day i went down there and ho! no cheetos available. and no cheetos the next week, and the next. the machine just ran out of snacks one by one. and even worse, there was a row of candy items that you couldn't buy. you put your money in and the red light would flash by the "choose another item" sign, the whole row was like that. you can imagine my frustration. so i wrote an angry post-it for who ever stocks the machine, though after a month of no cheetos, my post-it just mocked me everytime i went to check on the cheeto status. finally, it was so bad that i had to write an email to the vending machine place and told them to "get on the ball." they finally came and talked to adam, and told him somebody from our building went nuts on him when he last came to stock the machine and used a hand-truck to bring the snacks in, and there's a sign on the door that says "no hand-trucks" and so what's a vending man to do? i guess never come back. until my email, and he stocked the whole vending machine, though ignoring my post-it to put two rows of cheetos in. but guess what??? he made everything a dollar, even candy bars. what a spiteful man! it's just the talk of the office, mainly by me. but in the mean time, i had to have cheetos. it's like when you start to give a dog a piece of towel soaked with bacon grease and then pull it away, it's all they can think of for hours. i thought of cheetos even more than i should. so i went to the Hy-Vee and shopped for a bag of cheetos, and finally decided on the healthy "oven baked" ones because as i'm not riding my bike, skating or going to the ymca these days, i want to give my butt the least amount of reason to expand. and it's so exciting to have a whole bag to myself i opened them in the car and ate them on the way home, and hooo-weee, they sucked. imagine getting the "our family" brand of macaroni-n-cheese and sprinkling the cheese powder on a rice cake and eating it. totally gross and unsatisfying. i can't wait until i finish the bag and can get a new snack at home. so the lesson is, don't buy a big amount of an un-tried snack. you just might hate it!!!

First Friday, People!

It's First Friday again, this time I'm putting some personal work up! It's a sampling of my Nebraska photos, an ongoing body of work I'm building side-by-side with my mother, Susan Horn. Stop by and say hi, see what I do in my spare time, and check out the other galleries and shops in the Parrish Projects!
When? Friday, February 6, 2008 from 7pm-10pm (I'm at the end of the hall on the right!)
Where? the Parrish Projects at 1410 O Street

let's pretend we're grown-ups

i have a new blog up and running, it's "professional" so i don't talk about getting drunk or boyfriends or use curse words & etc. it's weird, trying to be "professional." not long ago, i was at a party where i didn't know anyone but my friend who was hosting it. pretty soon after i started socializing, i realized everyone thought i was nutty or cRaZzy. i don't know how to explain it, but i couldn't just be myself and be hilarious without everyone looking at me in shock/disgust. i had to reel it in, change my strategy, and pretend these people are my clients and act accordingly. i guess they all knew each other, and when you get some tattooed girl in their circle who drinks straight gin and talks like a sailor, everyone pays attention and "judges." maybe i'm the one who is judging, but that's just how i felt the other night. so being "professional" is new for me. i've given up on being a punk and having scabies and warrants, but i'm not comfortable being the other way either. yeah, it's a bitch trying grow up when you're all set in your old ways.
so anyways, check out the new blog!
taurahornphotography.blogspot.com

did i mention mobsters is lame?
i have become way less addicted to the internet since i don't have it anymore, it's super. tasha uses her neighbors, and does tons of downloading. can i say that? but one day she looked at the name of the signal thing, and it said, "please stop using limewire" which is hilarious. i use my neighbors, i think they're old people. i think this because the signal isn't always there, which makes me believe that they turn it off, like how they feel about telephones. if you're not using it, hang it up. and then i don't get a weak ass internet signal after matlock comes on.
my nostrils froze together this morning on the walk from my car to work. i had to park 4 blocks away and walk, and of course there was a luncheon (the culmination of several months planning and hustling) that i had to dress nicely for, so not only did my nostrils get cold, but my knee caps strangely were freezing cold. this is the dark period friends, when it's on the down falls and has to get worse before it gets better. today it was -9 out, and it's going to be like this for a while more. depressing, cold, i haven't even taken a walk in my new neighborhood, and i wear ugly winter clothes all the time cuz i'm such a wimp. what can i say? winter sucks... i could just come home each day and watch such things as the two hour american idol show (like on tuesday) or the two hour "goodbye grissom" marathon of csi (like tonight), or start catching up on all the shows i don't care about then start drinking with dinner, and wake up in spring about 20lbs heavier and a million times more lame... i should try to be more productive with all this downtime, and work on my "stuff" that i'm supposed to do, and that other stuff i'm supposed to be devoting my life to, you know "art." this is a constant complaint for me. but it's winter, it's ok to complain. i'll just probably get a cat and become obsessed with it like molly is with her cats. do you think cats would make good models? probably not. freeze dry them i guess.
our teenager at work is turning out to be cool i guess, though he has the usual trappings of a teenager (kfrx, gaming, etc). he talked to me about getting internet. i turn into a total idiot when it comes to techy computer things, i just can't bother. if i learn about things, then i have to know about them. and that just won't do. i think he spends alot of time on the internet, wonder if he tracked this blog down or not. internet is a big one for me to think about.
things on my personal to do list:
get internet
get new bag for fuji 645
go to dentist and get falled out filling filled
make more art
see boyfriend
get cat
laundry
pay bills

don't even ask about the "taura's cool photography biz" to do list, it would blow your mind.

ciao mfs.

i have found a faint wireless signal in the south east corner of my living room, awesome. between my laptop konking out on me, and not having internet at my house yet, it's been a loooong loooong time since i had easy internet access. probably 6-7 weeks. so this is a nice surprize:)
we have a new guy at work, he's a teenager. his previous job was at wendy's, and he treats this job much the same way. today i was folding programs, and he comes in and stands about 6 inches too close playing with a rubber band or a staple or something. usually you expect someone to say something eventually, but not our guy. just stands there. sometimes i'll just turn to him and say, "oh sorry, is there something you needed?" and he'll take his self elsewheres.
when i was making a stop at sun mart on my way home, i parked beside a van. a couple of kids got out as i walked to the store. i ended up walking behind one of them, smelling the stale cigarette smoke and b.o. waft in my direction, and i just looked. he had on those terrible flimsy sports shorts on, and had pulled the back elastic part down below his butt, exposing a maroon pair of flannel boxers someone else bought him. maybe to fart better. or pick some nanny balls out easier. then he had on some black puffy skater shoes, with no socks! it's fucking 18 degrees outside, and he's wearing shorts and no socks.
teenagers...

oh poopers

i've been up to my eyeballs in this and that, still haven't unpacked or bought groceries since i moved into my awesome house almost 3 weeks ago... everything's so urgent! everything on my plate has a #1 on it as far as priorities go, and it's just so much to do. on the lighter side, i wrote a press release for a new cd on monday, not having listened to it yet. so i made things up and guessed about others. should i be saying this? and i am just listening to it right now, and the song i called "inspiring" is actually "depressing," "somber" and "funeralesque" work better. maybe i could change it "thoughtful" before i send it out.
i'm wearing a bob marley hoodie. it's stetson's.
i got a haircut yesterday from the wonderful mandy at tangerine, i think i should just make a standing appt like people do. new haircuts are so amazing, i went from about 15 years old to 28 years old without having a professional haircut. that's alot of time, especially because i'm mostly an adult during this time. it's much better than getting a new shirt too! but just barely...

photos from warmer days...

this is frankie boy. when he becomes frankie man, i'm hoping he makes it with tina and they have a baby dog together. and i'm going to get that dog!


a trip to indian caves with stetson, we took his bike down a path through the woods to the river and then my boots went into the mud and almost came off.
stetson goofing off, maybe going to fall in:)
xoxo t

i looked in the mirror this morning, and my head has turned to a silver hair factory. i saw like 6 new ones. i guess you can't look 23 forever, someday you gotta look 24.

of course the growth of silver hairs wouldn't have anything to do with me - drumroll - buying a house, would it? it was love at first sight, and now it's a nightmare making it work out.

my laptop broke. hard drive went kablooey. no internet, no blogging, no checking emails, no ordering clients photos without a lot of planning and driving and schlepping around huge lacie drives.

having a opening at my studio for the next first friday, busy trying to get everything ready for that.

and my website will be finished soon! it's going to kill. i'm not building it, but it takes soooo much work editing, finishing, and preparing the photos and text to go on it. decisions to be made, problems to solve, etc... can't wait.

and i have business cards finally!

along with shooting weddings, engagement shoots, meeting with clients, i have a full plate. and grey hairs.

book review

today i am going to review the 1972 Readers Digest Condensed Fine Novels.

it's hard to read good books when you don't have money to buy books, or timely enough to keep on track with library due dates. so you read your books that you've already read before, or books that you find in the free bin outside of "a novel idea" bookstore. i'm also reading "Seinlanguage" by jerry seinfeld, it stays at my studio because it's not worth reading for more time than when you're waiting for a client to arrive. an actual good book that i found in the free bin is the david brinkley autobiography, can't wait to finish that one and review it. the worst book i read was about secular humanism. it scarred my mind. the problem with condensed books is that someone has taken chunks out of them to get that condensed feeling in order to fit the bill for readers digest. i try to guess at the gaps in plot, and wonder if it was sloppy editing, or just sloppy writing. with readers digest, you never know. the one from 1972 starts out with a murder/action/mystery novel about an old lady who is a spy and knows karate. it was a page turner, and i have a fondness for the old lady, but things just tied up too nicely in the end for me to feel much happiness that they turned out that way. another of the stories was a romance/time-traveling type thing revolving around a bonny woman who we all grow to love. fate is pitted against her, and her bodice is ripped often due to ale-fueled knights and knaves. she has fallen in love with the wrong man, a monk named stephan, who loves her also but when they have sex he punished himself for his sins by wearing a hair shirt. another novel in the book is more like a guide, a guide to japanese culture. as i dated a japanese guy for a period of time, i thought it could shed some light on our relationship. mostly, it's about how much better american/western practice is because we get things done, though the author does go into great lengths about how fine a tradition it is to have geishas. i'm not sure reading it 3 years ago would have helped taka and i make things work. though i haven't exactly read every single page of the 1972 readers digest condensed fine novels, i can safely recommend that you don't read it. if you happen across it on the shelves in a store, keep moving on.

so many exciting things going on!
cs4 is out, can't wait to get started once i figure out how to finagle a copy out of someone...
my new website is almost ready, worked on it until late last night with my mom and sister molly. how lucky am i to have a sister who designs websites and has great taste, and a mom who teaches photography, design, and web design? i thank my lucky stars that not only do i have a great family who i get along with, but that they're wonderfully talented and lend their skills to my undertakings. i am very excited about the new website, it will mostly be my commercial stuff, with a sampling of personal work consisting of the nebraska project, cambodia documentary and my tree/night/mandala body of work.
have three shoots lined up in the next few days, a couple engagement shoots and a fashion shoot with the most beautiful megabomb. stoked about that.
stetson and i raced his zuma scooter with my rd60, it was very close. mostly depended on who got off the starting line first, which depended on who said "go" first. finally got my helmet, it rules.
did you know you can get a ticket for not putting those little stickers on your licence plates after you renew your registration? who knew... all those things no one ever bothers to tell a girl.
it's beautiful out, especially for late september. i better shower and get down to the martini bar to meet my mom and sister tasha, it's friday night.
my mobsters is going ok, got my skyscraper finally. but have not been kicking so much ass these days, working on upping my energy instead of my attack power. can't have it all... sometimes i imagine it's real money.

things & stuff...

have been dreaming about riding motorcycles lately. it's awesome. i told the stets a while ago that i want a motorcycle, a real motorcycle. and he asked what kind. so i don't know anything about motorcycles, i just know what i think looks cool, and i told him there's a little green one at the shop he works at that i like. he tells me that it's his, he's restoring it to sell it, and i can buy it for what he's put into it. and then today i talk to him and he's riding it around, and tomorrow when i go to the shop i can ride it too! i'm so excited. it's a little yahama rd60, just my size. it looks like this:

i think it'll roar down A st just fine:)
i'm feeling a little better today.
tomorrow i go back to jen's class at bryan h.s. to talk to her kids about their photographs they made this last week. last thursday i went in and brought some of my work and talked to them about photography. jen has told me that they're really excited about the assignment we gave them "personal documentary," and some of them have already been bringing in photos they've taken, which makes me happy. i'm so stoked to see what they came up with, we talked about taking their photos and turning it into a zine. how cool is that? i'd like to have a show at my studio for a first friday in conjunction with their zine if jen's up for it.

wonderful email...

this is one of my favorite spam messages ever. look at the thought put into this! and the song titles are golden, it's like a stream of conciousness from one song to the next. and so i give the gift of gift to you. someone should email gift and find out the lyrics.
have i posted this before?

I NEED A MUSICAL LABEL

My name is GIFT, I am a rapping artist and a SONGS WRITER, I have 1 track demo which titled "lord I pray" and other 23 tracks not yet voice.please if there is any musical label that has an interested in having a deal with upcoming artist let them contact me please I am good all I need is an assistance , so that I can get back to them with my demo.

some list of my songs are:

My startin point ( da sky will be my startin point)
Who I am ( lord show me who I am)
Lord knows why
Search
U know i luv u
I can't forget
My best brother
Mum is gon
Babe is ok
Da world is pain ( been born at all is a great risk)
Aids is real
Will u cry 4 me?
Will u luv me when am down
They luv me when they don"t know me
That's how we lay
I need no woman luv

GIFT ENOLUOMHEN
22, AREMU OLATUNBOSUN STREET,
MAFOLUKU OSHODI. LAGOS STATE.
NIGERIA
POSTAL CODE: 23401
EMAIL: chatwithagift@yahoo.com AND giftfarm@yahoo.com
CELL: +2348020572859 AND +2348030449109

feeling mean and sad and fugly. feeling washed out and tired. want to rant about the boyfriend. and things are really actually fine, maybe it's just that time of the month where i get worked up easily. last week my car got towed and i freaked out on the police lady on the phone i talked with, and then she called back and told me i could get a ticket for that kind of behavior. and i was really in a state at that point, and am like, "WHA-HUH-HUHT FORRR!" and am standing on the corner bawling with snot coming out of my nose and everything. and i'm a block away from the police station and telling a lady "fuck you" on the phone... great idea. great self control. that's the kind of thing that'll get me arrested. i missed an important appointment because my car was in the tow yard, and then the next day my bike got a flat tire on the way into work. friday was good, my dad's birthday. went out for martinis, food at the red fox, and cake at g-ma's. saturday sucked. sunday had a photo shoot with katelyn, and then right after it finished, sunday sucked. i don't want tomorrow to suck. today was cool, had tacos and margaritas with delaney after work, but then had to go to the sprint store cuz my phone is breaking... i've had more than my fair share of problems with sprint, and tonight the supervisor told me that my plan looks fraudulent and he wasn't going to do anything to help me. !!! that sucked. tomorrow i'm going to shower and dress cute and try not to say dumb shit. today i wore (from the bottom up) tan boots, brown jeans, a tan tank top with a purple/blue patterned scarf. the tank top was a bad choice, but i topped it all off with a black northface performance warmth shirt thing. what??? how ugly is that? super. dang. no wonder i feel like crap, i look like a dumb shit who doesn't know how to match.
but good news is around the corner, molly is making me a killer website that i'm really stoked on!! and she's giving my name and all that a look i love. i'm going to go nuts with the business cards, stationary, brochures, etc... i should cheer up and go to bed.
sorry to be so vague about why days are sucking.

i'm finally registered to vote in this sea of red! yes.

waste of time

25 things i could have done tonight besides play Mobsters

1)make a nice blog instead of a crappy list
2)do the dishes
3)make a lunch for tomorrow
4)fold my laundry
5)process derby photos
6)process nebraska photos
7)process state fair photos
8)make art
9)work on wedding albums
10)write emails to the zillion people i need to write to
11)snuggle with the stets (but we talked about Mobsters on the phone instead of hanging out!!! lame!)
12)deposit my paychecks
13)get my photo gear ready for tomorrow
14)read my readers digest condensed novels
15)call my mom
16)work on my website with molly
17)look for a new job
18)organize my desk
19)pay my bills
20)sit ups
21)hang out with someone
22)organize the photos i'm bringing to jen's class next week
23)make a zine
24)dance
25)ANYTHING besides the time sucking activity i partook in.

and then literally 5 hours later i stand up to stretch and look around, and hey! there's a room behind me! a real world! i may not own six pump action shotguns or 4 restaurants that earn me $3650 every hour, but there's all this stuff which is actually real and i spent all evening doing absolutely nothing! dang, wouldn't i much rather messed around with all my crappy real stuff than stare at a computer screen and pretend i'm a bad ass mobster who has lots of money and guns? i'm not bad ass at all. that was lame, and i am ashamed of myself. this happens to me frequently, getting sucked into someone's blog, youtube, myspace, flickr, shopping for clothes and photo gear, etc etc... i'm going to be good for a while now, swear!!

chiggers

we went to pawnee lake last weekend, and the moment we got there, it clouded over. but that was ok, i made a killer quart of screwdriver and ran around in a bikini the whole time. yep, match made in hell. i have a nasty skinned knee and bruises, and chigger bites in unfortunate places. you should have been there, checked out my roundhouse kicks.

i went to a funeral today, it was sad.

i'm trying sooo hard to get my things together for my new and improved website, it's exciting. soon molly and i will get together and make a cool site, one sure to reel those brides in:)

you can pretend you're in the middle of my studio. it's awesome. or you could come down for the next first friday and see me! word.

the other day the stets and i played one of my most favorite card games, gin rummy. you know when it stops being my most favorite game? you know what a sore loser is? well, imagine how a sore loser acts when they're winning, and then give that person phenomenal card skills and try to play them at your favorite game. almost makes me want to resort to cheating. cheating or slapping. i tried my hardest not to be a sore loser, but i don't think i hid my disappointment very well. we'll have to have a talk tonight, we're grilling out and are going to use one of those chimney starters for the first time.

oh, and i didn't mean to imply that stetson is a sore loser, he was just a very annoying winner. maybe i'll kick his butt tonight at gin rummy and get to find out if he's a sore loser or not.